KH: Blue Rider Issues

Posted on Thu Apr 17th, 2025 @ 7:31pm by Blue Rider S'ven & Brown Rider K’yar & Blue Rider V'lik

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: Kymos Hold
Timeline: After ‘Smug Felines Hurt Blue Riders’

S’ven glanced back at the tavern and sighed with relief that he had not been followed. He just wanted to be alone to have a moment to himself to think through what had happened. He could have gone and found any number of friends but he decided one of the back alley ways was a good place to have a moment to himself. He ventured down it which led to him letting out a frustrated yell and punching at a wooden fence which did not help at all as it left him holding his fist.

}: What did you do? :{ Dareth asked confused at the wake up when he had been nice and warm.

*** Nothing. *** S’ven muttered.

“Shards, what did that fence ever do to you?” K'yar asked, having been on his way to find Lenya and Kiyna. The pair had been at the games while K'yar had had to finish up a couple of things. He tilted his head a bit, studying S'ven. He had never seen the blue rider so angry before.

S’ven whirled around and took in the brown rider and rolled his eyes a little. He would have rather had the Weyrleaders than his fellow wingsecond. “Nothing. Go away K’yar.” The man hissed annoyed as he shook out his fist trying to get the blood pumping around.

K'yar held his hands up in a sign of peace. “Easy. I was just passing through but are you okay?’ He didn't like the look on S'ven's face. The Blue Rider was never like that.

“I am fine.” He muttered wincing still at his hand and frowned. “I am just having a bad day” He sighed as he looked around. “What are you doing here?” He demanded turning back onto the the brown rider.

Apparently he was having a very bad day. K'yar frowned a bit. “Hey hey,” he said. “I was just on my way to find Lenya and Kiyna when I heard the shout. Wanted to make sure everyone was okay.” Since when was S'ven so defensive?

S’ven looked at the man and looked around embarrassed that his emotions were all over the place. “I am okay… I just… How does your brother be a blue rider and not have it affect him?” He demanded knowing that V’lik came from a harder place than himself.

K'yar blinked, a bit surprised by those words. “Huh, honestly he has never said. I never thought about it affecting him,” the brown rider admitted. “I think having Riana around for a while helped and I know his blue doesn't like to chase all the time.”

S’ven sighed. That really did not help but at least the man gave him an idea that he needed to talk to the man. He was the only one he could think of. “Can we go find him and talk to him?” He wondered sounding a little lost.

The brown rider nodded. “Sure. I just saw him not too long ago.” Not to mention their dragons could easily find them. “come on,” K'yar said gently, feeling bad for S'ven.

The younger man nodded looking embarrassed but he followed the other wingsecond back out into the the hustle and bustle of Kymos and what was the busiest Gather that the blue rider had ever seen. He did not talk as they started back to where K’yar had seen V’lik last.

K'yar felt slightly awkward but it was easy to see S'ven didn't want conversation. He soon spotted V'lik and waved to his brother.

V'lik returned the gesture and walked toward them. Thalia had promised to wait for him at the tavern while he figured out what was going on. “Hi,” he said cheerily.

S’ven waved to Thalia. He had thought something was going on then when he had seen them walking around last night but it was not his place. S’ven sighed as the man looked at the brown and blue riders expertly waiting for one of them to speak up. “I am sorry. I need your help with a crisis of self.” He said, hiding his hand behind his back.

V'lik raised a brow. “Help?” He asked curiously. “Sure. Let's go talk. K keep Thalia company. I think I saw Lenya and Kiyna not far away too,” he hinted at. Something definitely seemed off with S'ven.

“I am sorry.” S’ven called over his shoulder to K’yar as V’lik led him a little further away to where they could chat better. “I am sorry for pulling you away from the healer. I just… I saw Ciy today.” He knew the man would understand a little better how the man was now feeling.

K'yar just waved. He wasn't concerned at all. V'lik walked beside S'ven. “It’s fine. She understands.” The blue rider turned to face his friend. “Oh no. Well, that explains a lot.”

“How do you do it? How do you be a blue rider and not bother you? I know you came from mining craft.” Was he thinking too deeply into things? He wondered to himself. Was he letting a woman's opinion effect him too much?

V'lik considered S'ven's question. “I don't think I really realized anything til I impressed. In the mines I tried to keep my head down and then my mother wasn't exactly one I was going to say that to.” He still didn't know what his mother would think. “I was very confused when I Impressed,” he admitted. “It felt wrong. Still seems strange at times but thankfully my blue is content not chasing every green. It is hard ignoring people though. Really though we're just hurting ourselves.”

“I thought I was fine with it.” S’ven muttered. He had never been ashamed of himself since Weyrlinghood. “I was not aware of any of my sexuality. I impressed at age 12 so it was a whirl of change and it did not really seem that important but obviously it became obvious once I got a bit older.” He scrubbed at his face with his now bruised hands and winced more. “Ciy’s words cut me deep back then and today they have reopened every wound I thought was healed up. We do not chase all the greens. We have chased 3 different dragons in the last few turns.”

V'lik listened quietly. He completely understood where the young man was coming from. It wasn't easy. “Speaking from experience, don't listen to her. A lot of people don't understand and it's just who you are. If you are happy then don't let what anyone else says matter,” he said gently. “I let other people rule my world a bit too much growing up and I regret it.”

“It has just knocked at my self esteem breaking it down. I thought I was okay with it all but the fact she rejected me because of that has… it goes deep.” He sighed a little. Kelsa accepted every part of him and then some. “It makes me feel dirty. Makes me feel like I am 14 trying to work myself out.”

V'lik nodded in understanding. It wasn't easy. And he could see that Ciy had really thrown S'ven for a loop. “That is a hard thing to deal with. Does Ciy still mean anything to you?” He asked gently. If she did then this was going to be harder.

“Shards no… she turned being a rider into something hurtful and used it against me,” S’ven said quietly. He would not change anything as he did not regret saving a life but he would not have fallen so hard for the woman.

“Good,” V'lik answered. “I know her words hurt. Words are more painful than they should be, but don't let her destroy you. You’re a great rider and friend and if I'm not mistaken there is a certain green rider that thinks the world of you.”

“I just… it is hard to not let it bury deep with the cothold I came from. Ciy brought it all back.” He shook his head standing up a little taller now as he realised that a lot of blue riders had the same issues. “She does. She is amazing.” He was so lucky to have Kelsa in his life. Everything happened for a reason and he was sure the reason was her which was why he had been so happy to want to ask her to be his mate.

V'lik nodded in understanding. “I do understand that. I never said anything at the mines or to my mother as I knew it wouldn't be good. After being at the Weyr for a while and having some good friends I finally started to accept my role as a blue rider,” he said, smiling. “Good then as long as you and her are happy that's what matters.”

“I need to go find her.” S’ven nodded thoughtfully thinking about how he had just upped and left her with Mal. He had been so happy with her which was why he had been distraught with meeting Ciy again. He was happy she was safe and had moved on but he did not understand her need to take him down. “Thank you. Thank K’yar for find me too.” He added as he turned to race back through the crowds.

V'lik blinked as S'ven suddenly took off. He chuckled a bit. At least it seemed like S'ven was feeling better. Maybe the younger rider could start feeling more like himself again.