RCW: Needing A Restart

Posted on Tue Feb 8th, 2022 @ 11:20am by Bronze Rider I'han & Green Rider Tanly
Edited on on Wed Sep 14th, 2022 @ 5:44am

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: RCW
Timeline: M01 12

Tanly shivered a bit as she rubbed her arms. She was tired and a bit irritable, but she had enjoyed her time with the twins. It was always good to see them. Things had been a bit rough lately though as she knew I’han still got irritated with the scars he had from the scoring and she was still dealing with being sick from time to time.

Tanly stepped into the weyrs and looked around. Kanoth and Cadalayith were on the ledge so I’han had to be around. “I’han?”

The man looked up from pulling his clothes off and quickly covered up his scars before Tanly came in. “Tan.” The man called to her letting her know he was in the bathing chamber. It wasn’t something he normally did but he hated the fact he was stupid enough to get himself scorned.

The green rider grinned when she heard her mate’s voice. She left her jacket hanging up and made her way toward the bathing chamber. “Hey love,” she smiled, peeking into the room. She felt a bit better just seeing him.

The man came out of the bathing chamber looking sweat drench as he saw her peeking around the door. He knew it wasn’t like him and Tanly he knew loved him scars and all but he felt self-conscious as he had never ever been anything but perfect. “Hi.” He said softly looking down at her.

She smiled and stepped up to him. “Hey love, hard day?” She asked softly, hating that he hid from her. They were never that way and she didn’t want to be now. She reached up to touch his cheek. “you okay?”

“Yeah first drill.” He admitted. The Bronze Rider should have mentioned it before but he hadn’t wanted to make a big deal out of the fact he was back on duty and off restricted duties, he could rejoin his own wing instead of the Queen’s Wing he had been part of. “Yeah fine… just tired and aching.” He admitted truthfully.

Tanly was surprised by those words. She hadn't realized he had been pulled off restricted duties finally. “why didn't you tell me?” She asked softly, laying a hand on his chest. “let's get you soaking in the water. It will help the tired muscles.” Tanly gently ushered him back toward the bathing chambers.

“I… I…” He bowed his head a little as she ushered him toward the bathing chamber. It was a normal thing of there before his scoring to bath together. It was the highlight of his day if he was honest, it was just relaxing. “I was embarrassed… I am embarrassed.” He said quietly as his gaze looked at the steam coming off the pool.

The green rider was shocked by his words. Tanly gently tugged him around. “love, is it because of your scars?” She asked gently, touching his chin. “cause they don’t bother me. Think of all the scars I have yet you still love me.” She had mental and physical scars.

“But look at them,” He said softly as he finally looked at her. It was a horrible feeling like this, he hadn’t realised just how deliberating it could be.

She raised a brow as she looked at his scars. “It doesn't change you. You’re still the man I love,” she said softly, kissing him. “and the father of my children. “

“It changed everything Tan.” The man argued as he looked away again pulling back from her sweet kiss. Everything had changed when the thread had scorned him. He could remember the agony and then the blackness that he thought he would never wake up from.

She frowned a bit, not liking when I’han got like this. He was always the happy one and the one who looked on the bright side. “only if you let it,” she said gently, surprised by how quickly he had pulled away from her kiss.

I’han shook her arm off, right then he did not think he could deal with her trying to take care of him. "I'm all right." There was some apprehension in his voice, though the statement was not an all-out lie. “I just used to think of myself as perfect… I’ve never been hurt before.” It sounded a little nastier than he had meant it; he just couldn't endure another second of her kindness or another second of his cowardly reserve.

Tanly’s green eyes widened in alarm as she took a step back. She wasn’t used to I’han acting so coldly. She chewed on her lip, at a loss. “you’ll always be perfect to me,” she whispered.

The man shook his head and lowered himself back onto the ledge and sighed softly holding his head. He hadn’t ever felt like this before and it was awful to feel like that, to say the least, he was the one who used to help people. }: You’re perfect to me… You’re mine.:{ Kanoth said simply making the former Weyrhealer snort.

The green rider moved to sit beside him. “I'han, love, stop this. We’re riders. Getting hurt happens. “ she reached over to squeeze his arm.

The man looked at her still unsure as Kanoth’s words still went through his mind. The two most important people in his world thought him perfect and that should have been enough but it wasn’t, he wanted more. The man felt more and more like he was adrift without something holding him to shore. “Maybe I need to go to a mind healer.” He realised softly.

She laid her head against his shoulder. She didn't know what to do to help him and she hated that feeling. Tanly nibbled on her lip. “I hate to admit it, but it might help,” she said softly. “I want to help, but I don't know how.”

The man nodded. The Bronze Rider found it uncomfortable asking for help but those reasons were the ones actually stopping him from getting the support he very much needed there and then to move past the scoring. “Aye… no shame in approaching a mind healer.” He said thoughtfully to himself.

Tanly knew how hard it was for I’han to ask for help. She just hoped it would truly help. “and you let me know what I can do to help,” she whispered.

I’han knew he needed to do whatever he needed to do to get better, for Tanly, for Kanoth and more importantly himself.

I’han
Wingsecond / Rider of Bronze Kanoth
RCW

Tanly
Rider of Green Cadalayith
RCW