RCW:: Digging Deeper

Posted on Tue Nov 19th, 2024 @ 10:18pm by Apprentice Nerlyn & Bronze Rider K'ron

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: River Cove Weyr
Timeline: MD 2 D5

Nerlyn stayed in the doorway watching Raen for a lot longer than she needed to. The little boy was sound asleep in bed with the glows low and had been for a long time but Nerlyn just wanted to savour the moment before she had to speak. She was not at all prepared to finally discuss with her mate about everything and admit the depths of what she had done to make sure there were enough candidates and no dragonets were lost because someone did not suit them. She finally turned to see K’ron coming in from finishing with Tyreth. “He is out for the count. He finally went to sleep with me reading out your wing roster to him.” She said by way of greeting.

K'ron took his time out on the ledge with Tyreth. Nerlyn looked like she still needed a little time and he knew she was safe with Raen. He finally patted Tyreth's shoulder and headed back into the weyr, stopping when Nerlyn spoke. “Well that would put anyone to sleep,” he smiled.

Nerlyn smiled back. “He was not impressed with you not having Cathlyn or Neilla in your wing," she commented, closing the door slowly. “But he is happy with Tanly and S’ven.” She approved of his choices, though he did not currently have a wing second.

The bronze rider chuckled a bit. “I will have to apologise to him then. I am glad he at least agrees with a couple of my choices,” K'ron commented, walking over to Nerlyn. “Any suggestions?” He liked hearing her opinions but tried not to bring the dragons up too often.

“Oh…” Nerlyn glanced at the document she had grabbed in an attempt to get her son to sleep when he refused all of his books. She turned around putting it back on the desk and tidied up the piles to make sure it was back in some order. “Well, you need a wing second and a few blue riders but I think it looks okay from my limited experience.” She shrugged, brushing her hand over the familiar-looking paperwork. She could not believe that 2 turns ago she would have mastered that pile in very little time but she was now struggling to wrap her head around the Dolphineer way of doing paperwork. “You were always better at that type of thing. I just did paperwork well.”

He hadn't really meant to catch her off guard. It was just still so natural to ask her opinion. The bronze rider nodded. “You are very right. I just haven't been able to settle on a second yet and I think with the influx of riders I could add a few more blues and greens.” K'ron shook his head. “You've always been able to see what I miss. Thank you for the suggestions.”

“Do you have options for your second?” She asked taking her hand off the pile of paperwork to turn back to look at him intently. It was not often that he brought stuff back to the Weyr from his office but she could tell he had done it in an attempt to stay close.

He shook his head. “Not yet. I know it shouldn't be that hard.” It was something he just kept putting off. He also tried not to bring the hides back to the weyr. Just in case.

“You’ll get there,” Nerlyn assured taking in a deep breath as she glanced up at the pile of dolphineer equipment and clothing she had left by the door when she had come home that morning. How had so much changed between dawn and dusk? “I’ll tidy that pile up in the morning.” She assured thinking of her rest day and the random chores she had to do to make things easier for the next day.

K'ron glanced over at the pile of clothes and equipment. “That's fine,” he assured her. He wasn't too concerned. “How are you doing now?” He asked gently. He had calmed down a bit but it was still so confusing and frustrating.

Nerlyn gulped at the question as he finally asked it and shrugged. She did not really know how she was doing in all honesty, she felt like she had bathed in numbweed and taken Skyroot which was mildly worrying but maybe it was how she was protecting herself. “I am okay. You?” She wondered trying to gauge his mood and reactions.

He hadn't wanted to ask the question as he knew it wouldn’t be good but he had to know how she was doing. K'ron sighed softly. “Still angry at the Weyrleaders for what they did but also worried about you,” he answered quietly. He was coming down from his anger but was still a bit unsettled.

“Ki… it’s not their fault.” Nerlyn said gently as she stepped forward touching his arms. “They did not know what I had done. Your anger is misplaced. It should be on me. I am the one who caused all of this. I was the wherhead.” She said sadly letting him go to wrap her arms around herself.

K'ron shook his head. “You were a child,” he said gently, looking up at her. “You were doing what any rider would have thought necessary.” He suddenly groaned and started to pace. “Why didn't the Weyrleaders stop you?”

Nerlyn accepted that this was going to be a long conversation so decided to sit down on the couch and watched him pace back and forth.“Because they were desperate. The pass had just started about so many turns and well you remember how many people were dying from threadscore. There were not enough dragons in the skies. Everyone was worrying about the Candidate search and I suddenly realised I could use what I had discovered for the cook using the Red Star to our advantage.”

He nodded a bit. “I remember.” That had been a bad time. He was young but he could still hear the keening of the dragons. There were times he could still see it in his dreams. K'ron stopped and looked at Nerlyn. “I understand but they could have lost you too which wouldn't have helped the situation.”

“I was not able to be part of the fighting wing as I was so young,” Nerlyn said having come to terms with how dispensable she had been at that time. “I was dispensable.” She glanced away watching the glow reflecting through a trinket on the sideboard where they kept extra furs and medical supplies. She knew her phrasing would anger him but it needed to be there, he needed to understand it was a different time.

“No one is dispensable,” he growled. How could she think that? How could the Weyrleaders have thought that? Yes, it had been a bad time but still that didn't mean it was right. “That still wasn't right,” he said. “You and Leaneth were just as important. “

Nerlyn shrugged. “Well, I was in the grand scheme of things underaged, not able to join the fighting wings but had discovered a huge advantage.” She said softly knowing that if the Weyrleaders now had been in charge then things would have been different. “Ready the weyrs. Riders fly!” She said, singing a few lines of the familiar harper song. “I flew the fastest I could to do what I needed. Kiron I can’t change how I messed up then.”

K'ron scrubbed his hands through his hair, leaving it standing at odd angles. “Still don't like it,” he growled. “That was totally messed up on their parts.” He knew Lana and A'ren wouldn't have let that happen.

Nerlyn stayed silent letting him vent his thoughts on it all as it seemed an earlier approach when he looked so angry. She had never seen him that angry before but she did not know how to help him calm down without throwing herself at him.

K'ron paced a bit more still not believing what the Weyrleaders had let happen. It made no sense. No sense at all. The bronze rider finally slowed his pacing and slumped against the wall. “I am sorry, Ner. It's just so messed up.”

Nerlyn knew it had been messed up but she had not realised that until K’ron and herself had sorted things out. “I could have stopped.” She reminded sadly as she slowly moved to where he was slumped and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He looked up at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Shards, he could have lost her and he hadn't even known it. K'ron nodded a touch. “But as you said, you were young. You thought you were helping.” He just didn't know what to think of the whole thing.

“I was helping. I did my duty and was very good at it but then… things happened and I fell in love with my best friend repeatedly and had to stop to try and get healthy again.” She said darkly laying her head on his shoulder. “What else do you want to know?” She requested. He needed to get it all off his chest if they were going down this path.

K'ron kissed her hair. He knew she did her duty. He had watched her as he himself was a weyrling. He had always been impressed by her fire and devotion to the Weyr. “Did D'eng ever try to stop you?” He asked, now just curious as he was slowly coming off his high of being angry.

“I have not thought about his actions in turns.” She said surprised at that question from him. She had loved the brown rider, he had been there for her when she had, had no one else on Pern who saw what she was doing that cared enough about her actions. “When I was pregnant yes. He used to spike my wine if he saw me flying too close to the red star.” She shook her head. “But I was… difficult. How he put up with me I will never know,”

K'ron nodded. He had just been curious. And he knew she had been difficult. He had seen it many times. But he knew that spirit helped get her through. “But that's why you're still here,” he whispered, hugging her close.

Nerlyn sighed happily as she was pulled closer. “I know.” She admitted. She had meant what she had said earlier that she was trying to be kinder to herself. “I think that’s what I loved about him. You and him are cut from the same cloth. You are both very protective. He never knew the Weyrleaders knew but he was more than willing to go to them to get me to stop.” She admitted.

“Think I would have liked him,” he smiled. He knew who D'eng was but he himself had been that much younger so he didn't get a chance to know the brown rider well. K'ron kissed her gently again. “We're protective of the ones we love,” he whispered. “Always will be. You and Raen are my world.”

“You would have.” Nerlyn chased his lips as he pulled away from the kiss to tell her why he would have liked him. There was no jealousy for the man who had died seven turns ago, just simple acceptance and admiration. “But you healed me Ki. You are the reason I am alive now.” She whispered. “I stopped as I did not want you to get half of me.”

He kissed her again as she followed him. He was glad she had had someone who had cared and loved her. “no, I want all of you my love,” he whispered, running his hand up her back. “I am sorry I was so snappy earlier.”

“You had every right to be.” She whispered gently, feeling like the lower tone suited the situation so their son would not hear if he was awake. “You did what you thought you had to do but I am going to have to answer more questions with the Weyrleaders.”

“Perhaps but I am sorry I sounded angry with you. It was just a shock and a lot.” It definitely wasn't something he had expected. He blew out a breath. “I know and I am going to be there.” There was no way he was letting her face it alone.

Nerlyn touched his cheek and looked deeply into his eyes trying to think of words that she could say to make it easier for him. It was not something she had ever considered that would come out. “You never need to apologise for being angry on my behalf but please do not get angry over it any longer and I need you to promise me something that you will never try to do it.” She asked from him knowing that the Weyrleaders would ask it from him and Tyreth but she needed to hear it from him.

K'ron slowly looked up at her light touch on his cheek, his eyes still showing a bit of uncertainty over everything. He had never thought about being able to go back in time. It was a strange thought. The bronze rider nodded slowly. “I won't,” he promised.

“Thank you.” She whispered. She wanted that knowledge to die with her, K’ron, the Weyrleaders and anyone else they discussed it with, no one else needed to find out and go down the path that had nearly destroyed her.

“Of course.” He didn't completely understand the concept anyhow so trying it would definitely be out of the question.

“Settled then.” She breathed a sigh of relief as she just looked at him taking in how weary he looked from the day's emotions. She knew she should most likely get some rest too but she wanted to have a few moments by herself and do some of her apprentice paperwork to get ahead if it was at all possible. “You should get some rest.” She encouraged.

K'ron yawned a bit. He really hadn't realized how tired he was. “Okay. You're right.” He wanted to ask if she was coming but also figured she might want a couple of minutes to herself.

“I won’t be long. I just need to do some paperwork so my rest day is free tomorrow and clean up.” She promised seeing the look in his eyes that he was reluctant to leave her alone. “I am safe I am fine.” She told him firmly pulling back with one more caress across his cheek.

He gave her a tired smile. “Okay. I may or may not be asleep when you come back.” He trusted her and knew Koda would keep her company too.

“Please get some sleep.” She smiled gently moving to start turning down the glows in the main living area and checking the barrier out to where Tyreth slept just in case Rean did stir and wander.

“I will,” he promised, climbing to his feet. He slowly made his way back to their room needing sleep. He was out before his head hit the pillow.