RCW: The Walk

Posted on Fri Nov 1st, 2024 @ 11:43pm by Gold Rider Lana & Apprentice Nerlyn

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: River Cove Weyr
Timeline: MD 2 D5

Nerlyn was on edge as she and the weyrwoman walked out the door of K’ron’s office and down the many different passageways until they emerged into the bright Weyrbowl, bathed in sunlight. Lana glanced at her companion and offered a smile.

“I did not invite you on a walk to make you nervous. I need your help to be honest but I kind of would like the discussion away from priving eyes and ears.” She hoped this would ease some of the tension between them. Nerlyn only nodded, her silence leaving Lana with a pang of regret. Their relationship was complex, not as close as Lana wished; after all, it wasn't easy for two strong-willed women to get along in the Weyr, especially one who was a queen rider and another who had lost her dragon. Sometimes, Lana longed for the simpler friendships she’d had back at Healer Hall or the camaraderie she’d known when she’d just been a Weyr healer.

Lana was working hard to repair other relationships she'd strained over the past few turns—efforts that had often felt like trying to juggle too many precious things at once. But this walk was different; she knew she needed to mend things with Nerlyn, though she wasn’t sure how.

The Dolphineer looked at her and nodded she could not possibly understand why Lana of all people would be looking for her let alone want to take a walk with her but it was not until the pair got to the outer edge of the weyr that led either to the beach or up over the Dunes into the jungle that Lana pulled out a very familiar book from her inside jacket pocket and held it out to Nerlyn. Stunned, Nerlyn took a step back, her eyes locked on the notebook.

"By the First Egg... how did you find that?" she whispered, not looking at the book but rather at the ground, as though she couldn’t bear to see it in Lana’s hands. The shock of seeing that notebook resurfaced memories she’d thought had been buried, maybe even destroyed, by K'ron himself.e

"I need your help because I want to know how you used to get these numbers," Lana said softly, glancing around to ensure they were truly alone. She hesitated, noting the turmoil in Nerlyn's eyes. "No one currently in the search rider ranks can do what you did. I can’t figure it out. Do you have some sort of system or process that we could pass on to the search riders to keep up the quality of candidates you used to bring?"

Nerlyn felt a tightness rise in her chest, a torrent of mixed emotions flooding her. She shook her head, struggling to catch her breath. "No... I... I can't do this." She recoiled from the notebook.

“Nerlyn, what’s wrong?” Lana asked, her tone tinged with genuine concern as she eased Nerlyn down to sit on the floor with her, their backs against the cool stone wall. As a former healer, Lana could see the signs of a deep-seated panic taking hold in the woman, something far beyond surprise. "What’s going on?" she asked quietly, trying to anchor her companion’s spiralling thoughts. She wanted to understand what had driven Nerlyn to this point—what fear or regret had cast such a shadow other than losing Leaneth because that could not be all this was.

Nerlyn’s breath came in shallow, shaky gasps as she struggled to collect herself. She looked anywhere but at the notebook Lana still held. Her hands trembled, and a deep sadness settled into her eyes as she glanced out toward the distant horizon, where the sea met the sky.
After a moment, Nerlyn spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "That notebook… it represents everything I lost, everything I once was. Back then, I thought I had a purpose. I was… someone." She paused, her voice catching.

“You still are Nerlyn.” Lana was surprised by that statement. “You are amazing. I have never seen someone go through so much and thrive as much as you have. It’s inspiring.” Lana said honestly.

“Thank you for saying that Weyrwoman,” Nerlyn said formally.

Lana listened in silence, realising that she was uncovering something more profound than she had anticipated and she was sure A’ren was going to be cross with them both once this was over for opening old wounds despite the desperation they were going to be facing soon. This was not simply a woman reluctant to share an old technique—this was a woman bearing the weight of a deep wound, the scar of having lost her dragon and, with it, a part of her soul but there was something more. Gently, she placed the notebook on the ground between them, leaving it there, neither pushing it towards Nerlyn nor pulling it back.

"I cannot even imagine what that loss must feel like," Lana said softly knowing that she was sure she would not be able to come back from that loss like Nerlyn had becoming a mother, becoming a Dolphineer and seeming to thrive well enough that people were commenting on it at least once a sevenday that it was nice to see a sliver of the woman she once was. She would never be the woman who had once punched V’ron for acting a wherhead or dealt with the men in the Weyr by dragging them down corridors to apologise to someone mistreated but she was something more now. "And maybe… maybe I haven’t been sensitive enough to that." She sighed, her voice sincere, almost pleading. "But what you did was remarkable. You found potential in people no one else saw, candidates who turned out to be strong riders, Jena, Kirala, who made a difference. I’ve tried to understand, but I can’t replicate it. You brought something unique to the Weyr, and the Weyr is weaker without it."

Nerlyn let out a bitter laugh. "Unique. Maybe.” Nerlyn was sure there were a lot of people who would have a lot to say about that part of her and her life. “But it’s gone, Weyrwoman. Just like my dragon." She folded her arms tightly around herself as if to guard against the hollow ache within her. "When a dragon dies, part of you goes with them. I can’t… I don’t know how to be that person anymore."

Lana took a deep breath, choosing her next words carefully. "I don’t know if you believe it, Nerlyn, but you still have value. There’s something in you that could change the Weyr’s future. If you’re willing to try, to share some of what you know, I think you could give the Weyr a gift that only you can offer." She reached out, her voice softening even more. "And I’ll be here, supporting you, however you need."

Nerlyn sat in silence, the weight of Lana’s words sinking in, her heart aching with an old sorrow but also flickering with a sliver of something she hadn’t felt in a long time: hope. Maybe it was time to be free of her final secret. She looked down at the notebook, lying between them like a relic of her past. Slowly, hesitantly, she reached out and took it, her fingers tracing the worn cover as memories resurfaced.

Finally, she met Lana’s gaze, her eyes a blend of pain and determination. “I need to talk to K’ron.” She said softly pulling the notebook to herself properly and put it inside her jacket.

“Of course. Can I walk you back”?” Lana offered wanting to make sure the woman was not left alone with her emotions but she wanted to be respectful.

“No, thank you Weyrwoman. I am okay here.” She assured

“Come find me when you are ready,” Lana said slowly rising from the floor wishing she could do more but she needed the woman to come to her now.

As she turned to go, she focused her thoughts on Kalaith.*** Kalith watch Nerlyn until she is back in the Weyr *** Lana instructed.

}: Nerlyn? The woman you are with now? :{ Kalaith’s thoughts came softly, her mental voice filled with curiosity. The dragon had often seen Nerlyn in the minds of other dragons, always with a veil of sadness.

*** Yes. If she does not return to the Weyr alert me and the watch pair to watch where she goes. *** Lana instructed her words carrying an unspoken hope that Nerlyn wouldn’t stray far.