RCW: Not Needed Permission

Posted on Wed Nov 27th, 2024 @ 12:51pm by Blue Rider S'ven & Bronze Rider K'ron

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: River Cove Weyr
Timeline: M2 D12

K'ron blew out a soft breath as Tyreth took to the air to reach the fire heights. Drills had gone well and K'ron had gotten his bronze a bath without too much incident. Now maybe he could catch his breath and go get Raen and see Nerlyn.

S’ven had put off speaking to K’ron after drills straight away allowing the man to calm down but he could not put it off forever. He watched as the big bronze flew overhead and started for where the bronze liked to sun himself to wait for the wingleader.

The bronze rider was just turning when he caught sight of S'ven. “Hey S'ven, good practice today,” he grinned. Normally k'ron was one of the more level headed bronze riders and tried to make time for all his riders.

The wingthird nodded at the man. Being a dragonrider was so much easier than being a man sometimes, it was easier to fight thread and care for his blue than be a man who had to live and breath whilst sometimes he felt like he was falling apart. “It was good Sir. I am sorry I should have grabbed you after drills but can we talk?” He asked resisting the urge to look at the ground and mumble like a candidate.

K'ron frowned slightly. Something was definitely on S'ven's mind. The blue rider was usually a whole lot cheerier. Especially since Kelsa. “Of course. Everything okay?”

S’ven made a face. “Not really.” He took a deep breath and just came out with why he was there. “I would like your permission though I do not need it to see a mindhealer.” He held out the paper to the man. It was the only way he knew how to start the conversation.

K'ron took the paper in confusion. A quick glance through it and he understood a bit better. “Of course you have my permission. How long has this been going on?” He asked, wanting to help his wing third.

S’ven let out the breath he had been holding as the wing leader looked through it all. “A few months.” He admitted for the first time aloud. Kelsa had tried to find out at breakfast but he had been reluctant to admit it to her but K’ron at the very least would not be hurt by him keeping it to himself.

The bronze rider nodded thoughtfully. “A mind healer is a very good idea “ he agreed. “They are very helpful.” He knew he had benefited from seeing one.

“Nikolai has been helping with the attacks but I need something more.” He admitted putting his hand in his pockets looking embarrassed. “This has never affected my flying or anything, Sir. This is all around me and not the dragon rider.”

“S'ven relax,” he said gently. “I have no reason to doubt you and trust me, I've spent time with the mind healers as has Nerlyn. I understand completely.” K'ron considered his next question. “Does your mate know?” he asked gently.

S’ven gulped, taking a deep breath as he tried to focus. Kelsa had said the same that K’ron and Nerlyn would completely understand him. He had never needed any support this this before, he had always thought he would be able to cope but the last turn was proving him so wrong. He wanted to correct the man about Kelsa being his mate but she was his mate in his mind he just had a barrier from stopping her being in his life fully. “I am trying to. Just feels a little embarrassing at the moment but Kelsa does know as she witnessed my attack last night.”

K'ron could see the poor blue rider was nervous. It wasn’t an easy thing to talk about. He had felt the same and had nearly gone destructive because of it. “I understand but there is no reason to be embarrassed and it's good Kelsa knows. You can support each other.”

“It is Sir. My reason for feeling like this is not a big deal for everyone else but me. I cannot take that step forward.” He frowned looking at the bronze dragon looking at him patiently before he turned to rest his head on his forearms.

“Oh dear. I know some of that feeling,” K'ron admitted. “And you find yourself getting frustrated because you don't want to feel that way.” He knew that feeling quite well. Had nearly lost Nerlyn a few times because of it.

“Can I ask what happened to you?” S’ven had been a weyrling when things had started to go wrong around the Weyr for a while he had never really gotten the proper story. “If you want to share sir.”

K'ron nodded a bit. “I was a mess as a teen. Nearly chased Nerlyn off with all my uncertainties and thinking she needed and deserved someone better. And then when Leaneth betweened and I nearly lost her for good we finally got our acts together. Took a while and many slip ups but I think we're finally on the right track again.”

“I remember that day.” S’ven shivered at the memory. It had been such a calm day, a drill gone wrong and Nerlyn’s life changed forever. “But I cannot imagine you as a mess as a teen Sir.” S’ven could not merge the image of the man he knew with the one the bronze rider was claiming to have been.

“Yeah, that was a bad day.” He didn't talk about it often because he didn't want to upset Nerlyn. thankfully though she seemed to be okay with Tyreth and Koda. K'ron laughed. “Oh trust me. I was a mess. Ask Nerlyn sometime.”

S’ven smiled a little and nodded. It was kind of the man to offer it but he was sure he was never going to do that. “I won’t but thank you for trying to cheer me up and reassure me.” S’ven was relieved as the paper was handed back to him signed.

“You are a good rider, S'ven and a good man. Don't forget that. And by all means, find me anytime. I'm always willing to listen or talk.” Sometimes all anyone needed was a friend to listen.

“I’ll get better. I promise.” S’ven nodded at the offer though he did not acknowledge it. K’ron knew and had been there was enough hope that he could get through the rough patch and move forward with everything like he wanted.