Confronting the Awkwardness P2

Posted on Sun Oct 5th, 2025 @ 1:29pm by Sr Journeyman Rena & Sr Journeyman Bensen

Mission: 3531 AL
Location: FSH
Timeline: M3 D13

The food has been better then Bensen remembered and it seemed like Rena had calmed down. He stretched just a bit. “Still feeling okay?” He asked gently.

The meal had been quiet but it had been nice to the point Rena was sure that she had eaten more in one meal than she had in a long time. She glanced up at him, stretching offering a smile. “I am. The food was really good.” She assured him quickly. “Might have to let my corset out,”

A warm smile touched Bensen's lips. “I definitely ate too much, but it was worth it,” he grinned. “I know what you mean.”

“I do not need dessert or anything else.”
She assured as she sat up straighter as the girl came to take their plates. Rena passed some marks over to pay before Bensen could even consider it. She was more than capable of paying her way especially after the wins they had, had with the runners at the gather.

He chuckled. “I don’t know where I would put it,” he smiled. Although he knew their desserts were good. He raised a brow but didn't try to stop her. If she wanted to pay so be it.

“Next time.” The girl suggested disappearing into the crowds with a laugh.

“Certainly next time. I might bring Senabena here.” She said thoughtfully thinking she owed the girl at least something for all her caring over last eight months.

Bensen nodded. “Definitely next time.” He leaned back in his seat and watched Rena. “I'm sure she would love that. Maybe we could bring Bre here sometime,” he suggested. He had already loved the little girl since she was born.

The woman looked up as he watched her and offered a smile. “I am sure she would love that. We shall try before the baby is born.” She murmured quietly resting her hands on her bump.

That would be great. He would love to get to spend more time with the family. “You feeling okay though?” He was worried that she was over doing it.

“Mmmhmm I was not kidding about needing out of this corset soon.” She teased as the girl came back the change. Rena shook her head and wrapped the girl's fingers around it and sent her away.

“Ooh then I guess that means we need to get you home?” He asked. Corsets were definitely something he knew almost nothing about. He smiled at the girl as Rena sent her away with the extra marks.

“We can go the long way home if you have finished.” The woman said sitting up properly to elevate some of the pressure on her stomach and chest causing the breathlessness.

Bensen nodded. “As long as you are okay with the long way.” He didn't want her getting uncomfortable or anything.

Rena looked around at the change in vibe of the tavern from meals and families to something more intimate and not as family friendly. “I do not think either of us is ready yet for that.” The woman commented. If they were alone they would have to talk properly to make things less awkward.

He glanced around as well and shook his head. “No I agree. I think we can be. We just need a little time,” he smiled. A nice walk back sounded good though.

The woman slowly stood to her feet and sipped the last of her juice. She smoothed her dress over her bump before settling on putting her hands to her side. “Drink up then husband.” She encouraged.

He grinned, liking the sound of that word. Husband. He quickly finished his ale and got to his feet. “Then home we shall go.”

Rena blushed at the grin that plastered across his face and smiled, shaking her head. It was moments when he grinned at her like that, that reminded her he was genuinely happy to be her husband and wanted to make her happy. She weaved through people until they were outside and Cadence finally stirred from around her neck and looked around before she snuggled back in not interested.

Bensen followed behind her to make sure she didn't get bumped while walking. He definitely hoped they had Turns together to get to know each other and make each other happy. He chuckled as Cadence didn't really want anything to do with what was going on.

“You’ll encourage her.” The woman said, smiling as the fire lizard chirped but did nothing more. The green fire lizard had become more mellowed as the harper had which was nice.

“What? I just happen to think she's right. No sense in unburying from such a comfortable spot. You're safe so she can relax,” he grinned.

Rena rolled her eyes but took his hand in hers, weaving her fingers through so they were close. “Come on then Lord Bensen. Show we a new way home.” She said quietly.

Bensen grinned unrepentant. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “As you wish milady,” he smiled, turning down a different street to head home.

The woman shook her head but let him lead her through the streets. She might have lived there for nearly five turns she was still unsure where she was going some days, if she ever left the hold. “I should do this more often.” She admitted.

He walked happily beside her. Far Site was a beautiful Hold and he loved just walking around. “I highly recommend that. The people are wonderful and the Hold is beautiful.”

“I just never…” She shrugged as she stepped around some children who were running to get back to their homes before it got fully dark and they would get into trouble. She could remember the run many times herself as a young girl.

“You never?” He asked gently. Bensen was truly interested in her life. They had known each other for a while now, but he still wanted to know about her life.

“I guess I never found the time too caught up in keeping safe from Dragon Hold and afterwards I hid away.” She said looking up at him squeezing his hand gently. He always seemed to know the tone to pry out answers form her.

Bensen considered her answer before nodding slowly. “Yes I can see why you didn't go out. That was a bad bunch.” He hated thinking about Dragon Hold. He had lost his brother because of them and he knew many others had died or been kidnapped.

“I had everything I needed .” She added quietly as they walked into a side street that ended in the jungle at the other end. “You forget how big and how small this place is at the same time.”

Bensen nodded. He hadn't doubted that. He smiled a bit. “I know. I've grown up here and it still surprises me sometimes.”

“Kymos is a little bare but Far Site is certainly wetter when the monsoon season comes.” She could remember skidding around in the mud her first turn as Harper there.

He laughed. “Yeah a bit. Makes it quite entertaining when the foals splash around in it. Not nearly as fun if you happen to fall off in the mud.”

“And there is so much mud.” She sighed, knowing it would not be long until that season was upon them again. She glanced up at Bensen and smiled at the laughter that was around him now.

“There is a lot of mud.” There was no denying that. It could be fun for a bit and he had loved it as a kid. It wasn't so great now.

“I was very pregnant with Brenna the first proper time I saw it all, and I refused to step outside.” She laughed a little as she spotted the Hold Guards turning over glow baskets around the paths.

Bensen cringed a bit. “Yeah I can't blame you for staying inside then. At least this little one should arrive before the monsoon season, right?” He asked, making sure he had the right time frame. He nodded a greeting to the Hold guards.

Rena looked down at her bump and nodded. “Another month or so.” She assured relieved that she would not needed to manage going outside with a bump as if as she had.

Bensen smiled. He was trying not to let her know how nervous he was about that. He knew she had had trouble with Brenna and lost a baby as well. “A month huh?”

“Not long.” She stopped as she saw a flicker of something cross his face as she turned and looked up at him. “What?” She wondered, smiling.

He bit his lip, hating that she had caught him. Bensen hadn't wanted to worry her. “It scares me to death to think about that time,” he finally admitted.

The woman’s smile slowly faded as she looked over his shoulder for a moment before she sighed. “I gave birth to Bre.” The woman reminded softly.

Bensen nodded. “I know. And I shouldn’t worry. Birth is a natural thing. I'm sorry. I hadn't wanted to worry you.” He felt awful now. He should have kept quiet.

“I worry you enough so spreading that load is allowed.” The woman said quietly as she gently leaned up and cupped his face running her thumb across his cheek. “You do not have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to be scared with me.” She breathed.

He managed a shaky smile. “But I want to be strong for you,” He whispered, looking into her eyes. “I want you to know you are safe with me.” Childbirth scared him though.

“I am safe with you. I knew I was safe before we got married.” She reminded him softly as she pulled her hand back, trailing it down his arm until she got to his hand weaving her fingers through it. “Come on, let's go home. Get me home and out of this corset and we will have a talk.” She said

Bensen managed not to shake. He wanted to be strong, but he didn’t want anything to happen to her. He gently squeezed her hand as she wove their fingers together. “Now that I can do,” He smiled.

The woman smiled as they quietly walked to the hold going back through the kitchen. Rena grabbed up some small cakes and brought them with them up to their rooms.

He tried not to laugh when she grabbed the cakes. “Dessert?” He asked as they slipped back to their room. The walk back had been enjoyable.

“Just thinking this might be a long conversation,” She said, smiling up at him as they came back. A drudge had been through the rooms as Rena had left out the dress she had been planning to wear down to dinner in the hall

That didn't sound good but he slowly nodded. “You may be right,” he agreed. They did need to talk even if he was uncertain about it.

She put the plate down and tugged off her cardigan hanging it up before she headed for the bedroom. She wanted the corset off and hoped it would help the breathlessness she was feeling

Bensen let her go, figuring he knew where she was headed and sat down to wait for her to return. He couldn’t exactly help her with the corset.

Rena had taken to wearing front opening and closing corsets but taking it off was harder than it felt. She sighed in relief as the tightness around her left. She leaned out for balance before coming back out. “That is better.” She declared coming out to the living area.

He smiled as she came back. “I never could understand how women wore those,” he admitted. “Wearing the high collared shirts is more than enough for me.”

The woman came over and un-did his low collar grinning at him. “You only have to wear them at formal occasions but I might have to stop wearing them daily. Feeling a bit tight and breathless.” She admitted softly.

“Well thank you,” he smiled as she undid his collar. He frowned a bit. “Don’t wear them if they are hurting you.” He didn't want to see her hurting.

“Easy for you to say.” She laughed a little as her hand settled on his chest. “It is not the done thing Ben.” She said quietly wishing it was that simple in her position.

Bensen didn't like that. He didn't want her or the babu suffering. “As my wife you are do not have to wear a corset. Not when you're so far along with the baby and I want you safe and healthy.” He gently brushed a knuckle against her cheek.

The woman blinked several times before nodding. “Okay then… I’ll … I’ll figure it out.” She said still surprised but nodded with a smile.

He leaned over to kiss her hair. “Please don't do anything that makes you or the baby uncomfortable just because of who I am. I am not the heir and therefore I do not expect my wife to put her health in jeopardy for looks.”

“You are too good for me.” She whispered gently, looking up at him as she felt the baby kicking hard, obviously relieved to have space as much as she was to feeling slightly less breathless.

“I could say the same thing about you,” he pointed out gently. Bensen loved her so much. He had loved her before as his friend and sister-in-law but this was different.

“No… Ben… You could have chosen anyone, but I am thankful that you chose me and want to make a life with me and Bre.” She said softly. “But I am very much not worthy of you yet.”

He smiled softly and leaned down to give her a gentle kiss. “And I would do it all over again,” he assured her. Bensen shook his head. “You are,” he assured her.

Rena shook her head a little but stole another quick kiss from him. “I am not. But one day I will.” She said squeezing his hand that was not holding her cheek close.

He gave her a gentle smile. “You have nothing to prove to me,” he promised her. “I know things have been a bit awkward and I am sorry about that.”

“I created the awkwardness.” She quickly argued. “I should not have pushed things so quickly. I know you are not shallow but it is still awkward.” She stepped back looking at him, smiling, embarrassed still.

Bensen shook his head. “It's okay. I am glad you did. Do not be sorry for that.” At least with her pushing he knew she was okay with it too.

The woman smiled a little more and sat back on the couch, looking up at him. “You are?” She wondered quietly. She knew his past with women, and he knew hers, but it was still embarrassing to be the one who had seduced him.

He nodded as he gave her a gentle smile. “I was so scared I would hurt you,” he admitted quietly. “But when you took the first step, I knew you were okay with it.” He had never been so scared before. Well, maybe his first time, but that had been a different type of scared.

“You cannot hurt me.” The Harper assured quickly. She knew she might not have the best health sometimes due to pregnancies but she knew what would and would not hurt her.

Bensen managed a wobbly smile for her. “I'm learning that now. I was just scared that first time.” He had wanted to do right by her with everything.

“Come and sit down.” The woman suggested patting the space next to her. “I am sorry that I was so scary for you.” She said, trying to lighten his mood.

He moved to sit next to her. “You terrify me,” he smiled. “I just want to do everything right for you.” He had never felt this way before.

“I… well… I am sorry that I terrify you.” She finally found the words to speak and explain what she was thinking. “But not exerting is going to be perfect,” She pointed out before silence could descend and left her confused on how she was terrifying.

Bensen gave her a simple. “I just want things perfect for you,” he said gently. Rena was different from the other girls he had been with. And not because they were married. He wanted to keep her safe and happy.

“But it isn’t going to always be perfect.” The woman said softly. She leaned over and gently touched his hand. “Please do not try to aim for that as you will break yourself.” She assured him.

He slowly nodded. It was true. Things wouldn't always be perfect. “As long as you are happy,” he answered. That was really what mattered to him. He wanted Rena and Brenna happy and safe.

“I am happy Ben. You make me happy but things are never ever going to be perfect in moments like that.” She said quietly as she leaned over and kissed him softly. “Trust me as someone who was married.” She laughed trying to not be too embarrassed about it.

He leaned into her gentle kiss. He knew she was right but it was hard. “I've just never felt this way before,” he admitted, looking into her eyes. “But thank you. I will try to remember that.”

And that was why the heather was embarrassed and guilty over the previous night as she had used those feelings to make herself feel better and that some affection. “I know you haven’t.” She promised him that she knew and it was not just something simple. “I am trying to not break that trust.”

Bensen shook his head. “You haven't done anything to break my trust,” he assured her, not sure why she thought she had. She hadn’t done anything wrong. It was his own fault for feeling so uncertain.

“Good.” She said quietly as she leaned back on the couch looking at him. “I do not want to break that trust but I really did enjoy myself last night.” She laughed a little.

Bensen laughed a bit. “Oh I certainly enjoyed myself once I stopped worrying,” he smiled. He had completely enjoyed himself and was glad Rena had too.

Cadence decided to wiggle free of her perch’s round Rena’s neck and fluttered off to the high shelf she had claimed as her own. “We could go try again without those worries.” She hinted with a smile.

He smiled as the little green disappeared to a shelf. Bensen raised a dark brow. “Really?” He grinned. “I'm game if you are.”

The woman leaned close and kissed him softly. “Really.” She breathed against his lips trying to reassure him.

Bensen closed his eyes with a happy little growl. He wasn't worried this time as they had talked and he hadn't hurt her the night before.

The Harper smiled at him and caressed his cheek before leaning in to kiss him again. She wanted this man in her life because he was the only one who wanted her for her and not because of the baby.

He carefully wrapped an arm around her, keeping her close but also giving her room if she needed it. He had never dreamed he would marry his best friend but he couldn’t be happier.